The REAL PorcelainPrincess

photoStaying connected seems easier than ever. Most people either have a phone which allows them access to the internet, a laptop or a tablet; and in most cases people tend to have 2 or 3 of the above mentioned. While reading an article titled The Flight From Conversation by Sherry Turkle it becomes evident that most of us yes are connected; but we tend to loose all forms of communication (Turkle, 2012). Yes I use Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, etc. therefore I too am guilty of this. It begins to make sense when thinking back to high school when I had many, many friends; Now I am almost in my mid-twenties thinking of all the friends I had, then I think to myself when was the last time I actually had a conversation with some of these people. Yes I know that Laura just came back from school abroad, Yes I know that Julia just got engaged. But I am lacking the true substance in which a real conversation has. Although I may know what is happening in these people’s lives I truly no longer know them. I don’t know any of the interesting stories that happened to Laura when she was at school in Australia, I don’t know the guy that Julia got engaged to, or even how he treats her.

When I really started thinking about the differences with staying connected and having a conversation I knew I had to have a better balance between public, the private and personal social media I use. As I stated above the main outlets for social media which I use are Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and obviously this Blog. When I think about the idea of public, private and personal social media it makes me ponder on the idea of which self am I on each social media outlet. When reading another article written by Sherry Turkle titled Cyberspace and Identity. In this article Turkle speaks about parallel lives which we all live when we are online, we are all able to create our own persona or have role plays (Turkle, 1999). When I’m using Facebook and Instagram I would consider it to be more of a personal use of social media. I consider it personal use for the simple reason that most of my family members are close friends are my “followers”.
When I think of it this way I can truly only be the REAL me. While I may have some tweaks added, for instance on Facebook I tend to only post happy pictures, pictures of me on vacation. By doing this it could appear to others that I live a happy life and I’m enjoying life on vacation with my boyfriend. While this is true I do live a relatively happy life, and yes I do enjoy going on vacation. That is not my everyday life. I am not always happy, I’m not always on vacation; but it’s a way of getting others to see me the way I want them to see me.
When I’m here writing on this Blog I consider this to be a public outlet. Although I would consider this a public outlet as Turkle puts it it’s “a place to ‘work through’ significant personal issues.”(Turkle, 1999). Which is exactly what I would love for this Blog to become; A place where I can work through my personal issues with the help of other individuals going through the same problems, but also a place where readers of my Blog can work through their own personal issues that may be similar to mine.
Therefore the balance which I try to obtain is considered to be the “Goldilocks effect” as Turkle describes it in an article titled Places We Don’t Want to Go. Turkle describes the Goldilocks effect as “giving people the right amount of attention, not too much, not too little, just enough” (Turkle, 2012). This to me is the idea of putting so much thought into something before posting, or sending a message. The idea of writing something good, then erasing it all together for the thought that it may be too much, might not be enough. Re-writing over and over until I consider it just right.

Stay Happy, Stay Healthy, Until Next Time.


Cyberspace and Identity Sherry Turkle Contemporary Sociology Vol. 28, No. 6 (Nov., 1999), pp. 643-648

Sherry Turkle. The Flight From Conversation. New York Times Sunday Review. April 21, 2012

Places we don’t want to go: Sherry Turkle at TED2012


6 thoughts on “The REAL PorcelainPrincess

  1. Hey Denise!
    Well I would just like to start by saying that your image really suits your blog post well as you mention all the media outlets many of us today have, such as the laptop in your picture and tablet.
    On another note, I would just like to agree with your comment on Turkle’s argument of being connected, but not communicating. I am as well in my mid twenties and have little actual real friends. Back in highschool I couldn’t count on one hand how many people I actually talked to and had conversations with, I knew a lot about certain people and all their emotions that came with it. Now, I do know some things about these people, but there is no more conversation about emotions, or adventures or anything in between.. It is simply what they choose to advertise on their facebook pages.
    This concerns me, because a) I really have no true friends anymore to talk to when I need a friend, and b) No one really turns to me anymore either.. We turn to our computers. An example of this is when my boyfriend gave me a promise ring a few weeks back, I didn’t pick up a phone or run over to a friend’s house to talk about it, I just simply posted it on facebook with a picture.

    Can’t wait to read more of what you have to say!

  2. Hey there! I was drawn to your comments about the Goldilocks effect. The fact that you post happy photos and happy thoughts gives people the idea that you are always happy! I believe that is true in many cases, hence you never really know someones full identity. I know for a fact that it also works quite the opposite. Youth today post a lot of negative thoughts, feelings and nasty pictures. They are thoughtless, ignorant and indifferent even. Do they thrive on negativity? Or should we be truly concerned? Also, you are right when you say social media allows us to rewrite so that we say it write. I do that also, however sometimes it is just good to say it face to face and learn from mistakes, receive immediate reaction and have fun doing it. Social media may sometimes make statements too perfect, making a false identity. Thank you for sharing your thoughts. Enlightening for sure.

  3. Hi Denise,
    First off wanted to say I loved your blog, how through your thoughts you went back and examined your own self and how these things being said affected you. And how you openly admitted to you falling under some of these categories as mentioned in the articles, I love seeing readers relate the articles to themselves and putting it into real life context!
    When you said “But I am lacking the true substance in which a real conversation has” and related to how you know what your “friends” on facebook are up to, but don’t know the real details into what’s really happening. I don’t think that you are alone on this, and I think a lot of us in today’s day and age feel the same way, and lack true substance in real conversations because these SNS only always give us the bare minimum, I find the things people post are so minimal, so that’s what we become used to. The whole point of texting is really have a conversation in the least amount of characters as possible, and maybe that’s why I’ve become less and less of a fan of texting, when I text someone I haven’t talk to in a while, I do so because I want to know how their actually doing, and what’s going on in their lives, unfortunately all I really get is “oh I’m good”, things are “fine” .. And maybe that’s just from my perspective, that I enjoy a good conversation and to the friends that I’m close with, I enjoy knowing more then jus the bare minimum.
    I also really enjoyed your perspective on how you chose happy pictures, and pictures from vacation that give people this outlook on you, and I’ve never really looked at it that way. I think we all subconsciously do it, and that’s why I think it’s so hard to entirely be the “real” you on any SNS, because in turn you’re going to have days where you might be angry, or frustrated or downright sad, but you don’t see too many of your friends posting pictures of them crying, or in anger. All down my news feeds, it’s picture of people smiling, and being on the beach, or being with friends laughing. Everyone wants to give this personae of happiness and in turn leading this life of perfection, but everyone has their struggles, but unless you actually spend good quality time together, you wouldn’t know that their lives are actually full of emptiness or loss, because we post what’s acceptable, what things are seen as the norm, whether it’s consciously or unconsciously .. it happens. I’ll also agree with you that blogging is a great way to try and get the other side out, the side that you might not feel comfortable sharing with your followers or facebook friends, but blogging if you want it to can give you complete anonymity but lets you completely let yourself out.
    You definitely brought to light some interesting topics!
    Great job,

  4. Nice post
    I found it very interesting that you only post happy pictures and picture of happy things in your life. Although I do not think that you are trying to portray a perfect life I find it very interesting that we as humans do this. I must admit in a way I do the same. I do not post sad time or bad times I instead just choose not to post when going through difficult times. All together what I have learned is that people actually do not care about you (meaning anyone) it is a sad and harsh reality but it is true. The people that actually care about you are your support system and you usually tell these people personal things in person because that is how close you are not over the internet. I realized it in my personal life and had to get rid of certain people because they were not in my life or on my SNS for the right reasons.

  5. Hi there,
    I agree with this blog post,people today are mostly use the internet to see what is happening on their friends instead of talking with them face to face. However, things we posted on the internet ,such like on Facebook,twitter and blogs ,are sometimes not our real life. Like you said, you like post good things to let people know that you have a happy life. But life is not always happy. Like myself, I am studying here in Canada, my family is in China. I am always tell my parents how well i am doing here. Because I dont want them to worry about me. So we must find someone to talk to in order to truly understand the lives of others.


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